


Picture This

by kirallea



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Europe, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Hotels, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Photography, Public Transportation, Sharing a Bed, Travel, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 20:32:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8815327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirallea/pseuds/kirallea
Summary: Modern AU. Xena and Gabrielle spend a month backpacking in Europe. It's going to be the adventure of a lifetime, something they will never forget. There's just one complicating factor: Xena is secretly in love with her best friend.





	

”Okay,” Xena says, holding up the camera. ”You ready?”

”Sure.” Gabrielle puts her hand on the railing and smiles. Behind her, this: a peaceful little canal, boats lined up along the sides. Tall brick buildings and white window frames. Green trees and a cloudless blue sky. Xena snaps a picture. 

”Let me see,” Gabrielle says, walking closer. ”Yeah, that's really good.”

Xena hands over the camera. ”Ready to go?”

”Just wait a sec, okay? I'll be right back.”

Gabrielle wanders off, leaning over the railing and bringing the camera to her face. Xena watches her with fond amusement. This place is nothing like home. Of course Gabrielle wants to stop and take pictures.

Xena folds her arms on her chest and glances around. Nine hours on the plane, and she still can't believe that this is actually happening, that they're really here in Amsterdam now, ready to begin the adventure of their lives. They've been saving and preparing for this trip for over two years, spent countless hours staring at maps and figuring out how to get from one place to another. Travel documents, rail passes – everything's been taken care of. And now they can do whatever they want, go anywhere they want. No responsibilities, no set travel plans. Just freedom. 

”All done?” she asks when Gabrielle comes back.

”God, I love this camera.” Gabrielle shows her the screen. ”Look at these pictures. They look like they were taken by a professional.”

”Oh, yeah. Great job.” The pictures do look good, but Xena's pretty sure it has more to do with the photographer than the camera. Gabrielle might not be a professional, but she clearly has an eye for detail. She's the artistic one, anyway; Xena's not really into that sort of stuff, but that doesn't mean she doesn't admire her passion for arts. 

They walk for a minute, maybe two, and then it's the same thing all over again: another bridge and another canal, this time even wider than the first one, and prettier, too, at least in Gabrielle's opinion. Gabrielle puts her elbows on the railing and looks down at the water and then up at the buildings surrounding the canal. She has the biggest smile on her face, happiness radiating from her like light from the sun. Xena doesn't really pay attention to her surroundings: her eyes are glued to Gabrielle's face, drinking in the sight of her, the beauty of her smile. A soft warmth fills her heart, spreading through her body like fire. She's been feeling this way ever since she first saw Gabrielle four years ago, on their very first day of college. Gabrielle doesn't know. Xena doesn't want her to. She knows the risks all too well: the heart-wrenching pain of someone not loving her back, the fear of losing a good friend, everything.

Xena has to bite her lip to keep from sighing. Four weeks in Europe with Gabrielle. Four weeks of hiding her feelings. Four weeks of _fighting_ her feelings. In her mind, there is only one way this is going to end – in heartbreak. 

– 

Berlin is sunny and warm, the streets filled with people. Xena and Gabrielle take the subway to the hostel and check in. Their room has three beds in it. One of the beds has been slept in; the sheets are crumpled, the pillow dented in the middle. Gabrielle is looking forward to meeting their roommate. Xena doesn't really care. She's studying the map, figuring out where to go first. She can already feel the excitement building up inside her, her heart fluttering against her chest. Xena can't help but smile. There's nothing better than the thrill of being in a new city.

Xena and Gabrielle don't get to meet their roommate until later in the day. They're back to their room after a full day of touring the city, unpacking their backpacks and getting ready for bed, when the door opens and a young, brown-haired girl walks in. She greets them in German but quickly switches to English once she realizes they don't speak the language. 

”Where are you from?” the girl, Katrina, asks after introducing herself. ”America?”

”Yes,” Gabrielle says. ”Massachusetts, to be exact.”

”And what brings you to Berlin?” Katrina asks, dropping her bag on the floor and sitting down on her bed.

”We're backpackers – just landed in Amsterdam a few days ago. This is our second stop.”

”Really? That sounds like a lot of fun. I've always wanted to go backpacking, too. Where are you two headed next?”

”To Zurich! We're already looking forward to it. Are you from Germany?”

”From Austria, but I come to Berlin a few times a year.”

”So you already know the place pretty well, right? You got any tips for us? Things to do, where to eat, stuff like that?”

”Well, what are you interested in? Art, history?”

”I like museums and historical stuff, but she doesn't really care about things like that,” Gabrielle says, nodding her head towards Xena. ”She likes sports and outdoor activities. We've been talking about going to this adventure park at some point during our stay here in Berlin. That's the kind of stuff she likes. Ziplining, climbing, everything that gets her adrenaline pumping.”

”Gabrielle,” Xena says, slightly annoyed. ”I'm right here, you know.”

”Don't be intimidated by her,” Gabrielle says, laughing a little as she turns back to Katrina. ”She seems a little grumpy but she's actually really friendly and caring once you get to know her.”

”I'm not,” Katrina says with a smile on her face. ”How long have you two been together?”

A sudden silence fills the room. Xena forgets how to breathe. Her palms feel sweaty and her throat is dry. Gabrielle's face is bright red, the blush reaching all the way down to her neck. Katrina looks from Gabrielle to Xena and back again, confused and slightly alarmed. 

”We're not together,” Xena says. ”Just friends.”

”Oh.” Katrina seems embarrassed now, unable to meet Xena's eyes. ”Sorry. I just thought – I was just—”

”No, no.” Gabrielle laughs and waves her hand dismissively, but she's still blushing, and her breathing is a little shallow, irregular. ”There's nothing to be sorry about.”

”Okay, um, let's see,” Katrina says quickly, reaching for her bag and pulling out her phone. ”There are some good restaurants around here. I'll show you the map.”

”Oh – great! Thanks!” Gabrielle's voice is a little too loud, her smile a little too forced. Xena looks back and forth between Katrina and Gabrielle, still trying to make sense of what just happened. She's holding her breath, anxiety creeping up her spine, but it all goes away when Gabrielle turns around to tell her something and smiles her usual smile, because that's when she knows that Gabrielle still has no idea, that her secret is still safe.

– 

The night train to Zurich is crowded, and not just with tourists, but also with families and businessmen, all kinds of people from all kinds of backgrounds. Xena watches them walk down the corridor, annoyed they have to spend the night sitting up in this cramped compartment. It would be fine if the journey was shorter, but they're going to be here for ten hours, and that's definitely a little too much, even for a low-budget backpacker like her. 

They're sharing the compartment with four other people. Two of them are Spanish backpackers who don't speak a lot of English. Across from Xena sits a German girl who falls asleep soon after the train leaves Berlin. And then, the fourth one: a slightly disheveled young man with messy hair and dirty clothes and a faint smell of alcohol on his breath. 

Xena dislikes him from the moment she sets eyes on him. The guy seems like he's up to no good, shifting suspiciously in his seat and glancing around the compartment until his eyes focus on Gabrielle. He clears his throat and says hello. He asks Gabrielle where she's from and where she's going, offers to show her and Xena around Zurich. Gabrielle declines politely. She seems to sense something is wrong and keeps her answers short. The guy tries to keep up the conversation but eventually gives up and starts playing with his phone. Xena wants to sigh in relief.

It's well past three in the morning. Outside, there's nothing but darkness and the occasional glimmer of light somewhere in the distance. Gabrielle has fallen asleep with her head on Xena's shoulder and an open book on her lap. Xena is still wide awake, not even trying to sleep. She has better things to do. She's keeping guard.

Xena turns her head toward Gabrielle, careful not to wake her up. And for a moment, she just looks at her sleeping face, taking in all the little details: her eyelashes, the tip of her nose, the corner of her mouth. Xena feels a sudden wave of affection for her, an overwhelming urge to keep her safe. She wants to dedicate her life to making Gabrielle happy, wants to make sure nothing or no one will ever break her beautiful spirit. There are people who will try, but Xena is more determined than ever: she'll do everything she can to protect her, and always will, no matter what.

She looks at the people in the compartment, all of them asleep except for the guy sitting across from Gabrielle. He has a magazine open in front of him, but he keeps glancing around, clearly distracted. Xena hates the way his eyes gleam when he looks at Gabrielle, like a predator stalking its prey. A swell of anger bubbles up inside her, rising in her throat, but she swallows it back down and inhales slowly, trying to stay calm.

Their eyes meet, and time seems to stop. Xena gives him the dirtiest look she can muster, a look that says, _if you so much as touch a hair on her head, I'll make you wish you were never even born._ And she doesn't even have to try: she's still seething with anger and disgust, adrenaline rushing through her veins and fueling her thoughts. The guy's smile falters, and he looks back at his magazine, sinks a little lower in his seat. Xena keeps glaring at him, eyes narrowed. The guy doesn't look up again. He pretends to be reading his magazine, eventually giving up and falling asleep for an hour or two.

Gabrielle wakes up soon after sunrise. Xena looks out the window, not in the mood to talk. The guy takes his bag and leaves. Xena doesn't see him again, not on the train and not even at the train station in Zurich. 

–

”I think we should stop here,” Gabrielle says. ”It doesn't get any better than this, Xena.”

Xena slows down and looks around. On their left, grassy mountain slopes and bare mountain tops. On their right, a breathtaking view of mountains and lush valleys and quaint little villages. There are no other people in sight; just the two of them, and the vast fields of emerald green grass and wide stretches of blue sky and endless, endless silence.

”You're right,” Xena says. ”Such an amazing view over the lake.”

They step off the trail and sit down on the grass. Gabrielle fumbles around her bag, looking for something. Xena grabs her water bottle and takes a long drink.

This is definitely one of the highlights of the trip for them, something they've both been looking forward to for a long time. It's a welcome change from the bustle of big cities and the monotony of long train journeys in crowded carriages. Xena likes big cities, too, but this is something else: a hike in the Alps, the two of them surrounded by the most breathtaking landscapes she has ever seen in her life.

Xena closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Even the air is different here, thousands of feet above the sea: clean and fresh, the breeze gentle against her face. She likes it so much that she wants to bottle it and take it back home with her, keep it as a souvenir of this special moment. 

Xena pulls a sandwich out of her bag and takes a bite. Gabrielle is already eating hers, lost in thought. Xena lets her eyes drink in the scenery, wanting to remember every little detail: the peaceful blue surface of the lake, and the villages between the hills, miles and miles away from their current location.

They sit in silence for a long time, just enjoying the moment, the beauty of this place. Xena is overcome with a feeling of calm and peace, a sense of belonging and connectedness to the world around her. She feels invigorated, alive in a way she hasn't in a long time, and being able to share the experience with Gabrielle makes it even better. 

– 

”Are you sure this is the right stop?” Gabrielle asks a few hours later. They're standing at the side of the road leading out of the village, watching cars go by at high speeds.

”Yeah,” Xena says. ”The bus should be here at any moment.”

”I hope so,” Gabrielle says. ”Looks like it's going to rain soon.”

”Mm.”

Seconds later, as if on cue, it starts pouring, the rain coming down in sheets and bouncing off the asphalt. Xena looks around for a shelter, but it's already too late. She's completely drenched in less than thirty seconds, the rain seeping through her clothes and soaking her from head to toe. Gabrielle doesn't look any better: her hair is plastered to her forehead, the rain dripping down her face.

”Oh my God,” Gabrielle says. She's starting to laugh, wiping soaked strands of hair away from her face.

Xena is not amused. ”The bus better come soon,” she says through gritted teeth, which only makes Gabrielle laugh even harder.

The bus arrives minutes later. Xena walks straight to the back, her shoes squeaking with each hurried step. Gabrielle follows her moments later, sighing as she flops onto the seat next to Xena.

”God, I feel so uncomfortable,” she says, looking down at her clothes. ”We should have checked the weather before leaving this morning.”

”Well, at least we're on our way back to the hotel now,” Xena says, sinking lower in her seat. 

”Yeah.” Gabrielle wraps her arms around herself. Xena can see goosebumps on her skin, the hair on her arms standing up.

”You wanna wear my jacket?” Xena asks.

Gabrielle looks up at her, smiling a little. ”It's okay, Xena.”

”You're shivering.”

”Well, so are you,” Gabrielle says. ”I don't—”

Xena doesn't listen. She reaches down and pulls a jacket out of her bag.

”Here,” Xena says. ”Take this.”

”No. You should take it. It's yours, after all.”

”I don't need it. I'm not cold. Not anymore. C'mon, take it.”

Gabrielle doesn't look convinced but takes the jacket anyway, pulling it over her shoulders. 

”Better?” Xena asks.

”Much better.” Gabrielle glances at her, frowning a little. ”Are you sure you're not cold?”

”Don't worry about me. I'm fine.”

”Is this better?” Gabrielle asks. She scoots closer and puts her head on Xena's shoulder. Xena tenses in her seat, her heart starting to beat faster. Gabrielle has been doing this a lot, Xena thinks dazedly: on the train, in the taxi, always so close—

”Well, it would be if your hands weren't so cold,” she says. 

Gabrielle puts her hand on Xena's neck, making her wince. ”Really? You're surprisingly warm.”

”Gabrielle,” Xena says, trying to sound menacing. ”Stop this.”

”Or what?” Gabrielle's eyes are twinkling with mischief.

Xena slips her fingers under Gabrielle's shirt and tickles her stomach. Gabrielle doubles over with her arms wrapped around her ribs, giggling as she tries to shove Xena's hand away. 

”I know all your ticklish spots,” Xena says, trying to make it sound like a threat. ”You know that?”

Gabrielle buries her face in Xena's shoulder and laughs, her body shaking against Xena's. Xena feels a warmth spread across her chest, like a hot drink on a cold winter day. She closes her eyes and smiles and never wants to get off this bus. 

–

Xena has mixed feelings about Venice. On one hand, it's a fascinating city, unlike any other she has ever been to. On the other hand, there are way too many people there. Xena and Gabrielle are wandering the streets of central Venice, looking for a place to eat. The place is packed with tourists, a steady stream of people headed to the Rialto Bridge. Xena and Gabrielle are walking in the opposite direction, away from the expensive restaurants. Xena lets Gabrielle take the lead and follows behind, huffing in annoyance as she makes her way through the crowds. She's starting to get grumpy, the hunger gnawing at her stomach and the evening sun burning into her eyes, brighter than ever.

”This one?” Gabrielle says, pointing at a restaurant across the street.

”Doesn't seem too crowded,” Xena says. ”Let's go in.”

The restaurant is small and intimate, decorated with warm colors and elegant furniture. Soft piano music is playing in the background, barely audible over the buzz of muted conversations and the clinking of silverware. Xena stops dead at the door, ready to turn around and walk away, because this is not exactly the kind of place where she wants to eat dinner, but a smiling waiter is already approaching them, gesturing towards a free table. 

"Gabrielle," she says, but it's too late. Gabrielle is already following the waiter, too far away to hear her.

Xena sighs and walks through the restaurant, awkwardly threading her way between tables. They sit down at their table, and the waiter hands them menus, asks them what they want to drink. Xena lets Gabrielle talk and pretends to be engrossed with the menu, silently observing the people around her. 

The restaurant is full of couples, and maybe they're on their honeymoon, or celebrating their anniversary, Xena doesn't know, but they're acting disgustingly cute with each other. Everywhere around her, there are men and women gazing into each other's eyes, eyes twinkling and smiles beaming and voices low and gentle—

"Well, this is interesting," Gabrielle says. She's looking around, too, delighted and mildly amused, and Xena's not sure, but she thinks she sees a faint blush on Gabrielle's cheeks. 

"I know.” If Xena didn't know better, she would think that someone was playing a practical joke on her.

Xena stretches out her legs under the table and takes a sip of the water the waiter has set in front of her. Uncomfortableness aside, she has to admit it feels good to be sitting down after a long day of exploring the city. Xena doesn't mind walking long distances, or even the heat, but she's happy to get away from the crowds for a while, even if it means having to endure – all this.

The food arrives quickly and looks delicious: two plates of steaming hot pasta laid out in front of them, complete with tomato sauce and parmesan. Xena starts digging into her food as soon as the waiter is gone, desperate to fill her empty stomach. Gabrielle pulls out her camera and takes a picture of her plate before taking the first bite.

"Oh my God," she says, holding her hand over her mouth. "This pasta is absolutely amazing. You have to taste it, Xena." And before Xena can open her mouth to answer, Gabrielle spears a piece of ravioli with her fork and holds it out to Xena.

Xena sits frozen in her chair, staring at the fork, trying to get her brain to work. She doesn't mind this, not at all, but it's just that it's happening in such a romantic setting, and they're not even _dating_ , and of course Gabrielle looks ridiculously beautiful in that floral top and with her hair down like that—

Xena opens her mouth and allows Gabrielle to feed her, cheeks burning like fire. The pasta is soft and creamy, melting on her tongue and leaving a pleasant taste in her mouth. 

”What do you think?” Gabrielle asks. She's looking at Xena, observing her reaction, head tilted to the side. 

”Delicious,” Xena says. ”Almost makes me wish I ordered the same thing.” 

”Yours looks really good, too, if it's any consolation,” Gabrielle says, a hint of wistfulness in her voice.

”You wanna taste it?” Xena blurts out before she can stop herself. 

”Sure.” Gabrielle smiles at her sheepishly. ”If you don't mind.”

”Of course not.” 

Xena twirls spaghetti around her fork and holds it out to Gabrielle. Xena acts like this is not a big deal, but she's definitely getting a little flustered, her hand trembling just slightly. She tries to ignore her surroundings and decides to focus on Gabrielle: the way she wraps her mouth around the fork and pulls away and chews and chews and chews. Gabrielle is so cute like this, savoring the bite with her eyes closed, a goofy little smile on her lips. _Don't you know how you make me feel?_ Xena thinks, watching her face. _Don't you know how much I like you?_

”So good,” Gabrielle says. It's not until she opens her eyes that Xena realizes she's been smiling, too, just a little, carried away by her thoughts. Xena drops her gaze and stuffs a forkful of pasta into her mouth. She can feel Gabrielle's eyes on her, watching her every move.

”Don't look at my plate like that,” Xena says.

”Like what?”

”Like you want me to share my food with you.” They'd probably end up eating the same string of spaghetti, just like those dogs in that Disney movie—

”No, I don't. I've got a plate of pasta right in front of me. See?”

The corners of Xena's mouth are starting to twitch. ”Doesn't mean you can't be thinking about it.” 

Gabrielle smirks, her nose scrunching up slightly. ”Maybe I'm just planning on stealing your food when you're not looking.”

”Oh boy.” Xena pulls the plate closer. ”Good luck with that.” And this time, she doesn't even try to hide the smile on her face.

–

 

Xena raises a hand to her forehead, shielding her eyes from the midday sun. The beach looks like something out of an advert: long stretches of blindingly white sand reaching as far as the eye can see, the impossibly blue waters of the Mediterranean shimmering in the background. It's crowded with families and couples and groups of friends, but even that doesn't take away the charm of the place. It's different from what they've seen on this trip so far – yet another new experience, yet another beautiful discovery.

Gabrielle spreads a towel on the sand and drops her bag down on it.

”I don't know about you, but I'm going to stay here until the sun goes down.” 

”Fine by me,” Xena says. She pulls off her shirt and wiggles out of her shorts, revealing a swimsuit underneath. She stretches to her full length, breathing in the salty ocean air, the warmth of the sun seeping into her skin. Xena has never really been a beach person, but she still likes it here, in this small French town with narrow streets and Mediterranean-style villas. If only there weren't so many tourists, the place would be ideal for a longer stay. 

Xena glances back and catches Gabrielle looking away, her eyes scanning the shoreline and the hills on the far side of the bay. Xena feels a strange flutter in her stomach, like a thousand little butterflies, because maybe, just maybe, Gabrielle was looking at her, secretly—

Gabrielle is now stripping out of her clothes, too. Xena allows herself to stare, just for a moment. She has seen Gabrielle like this many times before, but she still can't get over how healthy she looks, all toned muscle and sun-kissed skin, beautiful like a sculpture or a painting. She's lithe and strong at the same time, lean but muscular in the right places, and her easy smile and bright eyes only add to her beauty, making her look like a goddess, radiant and kind.

Gabrielle doesn't notice this, of course. She's slathering herself with sunscreen, and Xena would be lying if she said it doesn't make her breath catch in her throat. She turns away a little too quickly, busies herself with the contents of her bag.

”Nothing special for lunch today,” she says. ”Iced tea and crackers. And grapes.”

”Sounds perfect to me.” Gabrielle is beaming at her now, like there's nothing she would rather be doing than eating crackers and drinking iced tea on the beach with Xena. It warms Xena's heart like nothing else ever has before. Overcome with emotion, she wonders how it's even possible for someone to be like this, so breathtakingly beautiful inside and out. Gabrielle is like a living embodiment of all good things in the world, warmth and sunshine and flowers growing in the cracks of sidewalks, and she doesn't even have to try. It's as natural to her as slipping into a spiral of negative thoughts is to Xena, and Xena will never ever understand how she does that.

Xena reaches for her, touches her arm to get her attention. Their eyes meet, and Xena's heart aches with love and pain. 

”Here,” she says, and maybe her voice is a little too soft, she doesn't care. ”Let me do your back.”

Gabrielle smiles, genuine and sweet. ”Thanks,” she says and turns around, facing away from Xena. Xena smiles as she pours sunscreen into her hand. She will never be like Gabrielle, she knows that, but that doesn't mean she can't allow herself to bask in the warmth of her presence every once in a while. 

– 

”You know what we should do?” Gabrielle says. ”Treat ourselves to a hotel room in Paris.”

Xena turns away from the window and looks at her. ”What? Why?”

”We've saved a lot of money by sleeping on trains and in hostels. I just think it would be nice to end the trip on a high note.”

”I thought you didn't mind sleeping in hostels.”

”You're right. I don't. I just – I feel like trying something different, you know? Paris will be our last stop before going home, and we're only going to be there for two nights anyway, so, why not?”

”What do you even mean by 'treating ourselves to a hotel room'?” Xena asks. ”Like, staying in a five-star hotel? Jacuzzis and marble bathrooms and that kind of stuff?”

”It doesn't have to be crazy expensive,” Gabrielle says. ”A standard room in a four-star hotel, maybe?”

”I don't think we can be picky about our accommodation right now. Paris is packed with tourists at this time of year.”

”We could at least try. Right, Xena? Please?”

Xena studies Gabrielle's face, weighing her options. She wants to save the money, but it's hard to say no to Gabrielle when she's like this: all puppy eyes and pouty lips and—

”Fine,” Xena says. ”If that's what you really want.”

Gabrielle's face lights up. ”This is going to be so much fun! Just think about it, Xena!”

Xena can't help but smile at the sparkle in Gabrielle's eyes. She knows she has made the right decision.

–

From the train station, it's a thirty-minute subway journey to the Eiffel Tower, and the next thing Xena knows, they find themselves in the 7th arrondissement, looking for hotels. She lets Gabrielle take the lead and just follows her around as they walk from hotel to hotel. The first three hotels are all full, but fourth time's the charm: 

”You're very lucky,” the receptionist says. ”Someone just canceled their reservation. Deluxe room, two nights.”

”That's great,” Gabrielle says. ”Exactly what we need. We'll take it.” Xena stands awkwardly next to her, arms on the counter. The lobby is huge, complete with shiny granite floors and large windows and elegant leather couches. Xena feels so out of place here, surrounded by businessmen and wealthy travelers, the kind of people she has nothing in common with. She's not embarrassed by her backpack and shorts and sneakers, but she would be lying if she said she wasn't self-conscious of her slightly disheveled appearance. 

Xena actually likes their room, which is furnished with the usual necessities and decorated in tones of whites and grays. It's definitely a step up from the hostel experience: they have a TV now, and a balcony, and a private bathroom with heated floor. There is only one bed in the room: big and beautiful and inviting, thick white pillows carefully arranged against the headboard and a luxurious throw draped over the foot. 

Xena has to bite her tongue to keep from sighing. Of course there is only one bed in the hotel room.

–

It's almost two in the morning, their first night in Paris, and Xena can't sleep. She lies awake on the bed and listens to sirens wailing in the streets, eyes opening and closing and opening again. Gabrielle is fast asleep beside her, arms flung wide and left cheek pressed against the pillow. She passed out soon after they got back to the hotel, exhausted after a long day of traveling and walking around the city. Xena was expecting to fall asleep quickly, too, but here she is, almost two hours later, kept awake by her thoughts.

She turns her head to the side and studies Gabrielle's sleeping face. Xena doesn't think she has ever slept so close to her before; a slight movement of her hand, and she'd be able to touch Gabrielle's shoulder, her cheek, the tip of her nose. A lock of hair dangles in front of Gabrielle's eyes. Xena wants to reach over and brush it away from her face, but she doesn't move. It would be too much for her, a painful reminder of the things she can't have, not now and not ever. 

Xena's lips curve into a sad smile. She allows herself to wonder what it would be like to spend every night like this, and to watch Gabrielle wake up every day, to see those beautiful eyes flutter open, Gabrielle's lips easing into a soft smile at the sight of Xena, the love in her eyes—

Xena turns onto her side, facing away from Gabrielle, and hugs the blanket tighter around her. She closes her eyes, but the thoughts don't leave her alone, don't let her sleep. They're louder than ever, whirling through her mind like leaves in a storm, twisting and turning and ultimately seeping into her dreams, too. 

–

”We should make a toast,” Gabrielle says as she fills their glasses.

”Sure.” Xena raises her glass, and Gabrielle does the same.

”To the last day of our trip,” Gabrielle says, and then they clink their glasses against each other and drink.

The night is warm and clear, no clouds in the sky. It's dark outside, but the city is humming with activity, alive with lights and sounds. Xena and Gabrielle are sitting on the balcony of their room, back to the hotel after a long day of sightseeing. Gabrielle insisted on ordering two bottles of French wine from room service, along with an overpriced bag of potato chips. It's not like Xena needed much persuasion; she feels like drinking tonight, and whether it's to celebrate their last night in Europe, or to congratulate herself on making it this far without ruining their friendship, or both, she doesn't really know. A tiny voice in the back of her mind tells her this is a bad idea, a dangerous idea, but she doesn't care. She's not planning to get drunk, anyway; a mild buzz is fine, that pleasant feeling of warmth, the state of languid relaxation.

Gabrielle picks up her camera and turns it towards the Eiffel Tower, located less than a mile away from the hotel.

”Last pictures.” There is a tinge of sadness in her voice. ”I can't believe we'll be going back home tomorrow.”

”I know,” Xena says. ”This month has gone by so fast.”

Gabrielle lowers the camera and leans back in her chair, arms dangling at her sides. 

”I don't want to go home,” she says, pouting. 

”Don't think about that yet,” Xena says. ”We still have one more day left. The plane doesn't leave until later in the day.”

”I know.” Gabrielle sits up straighter in her seat. ”It just – it makes me so sad. This has been such an amazing experience.”

She turns away, looks at the thousands and thousands of tiny little lights scattered across the city. Xena studies her profile in the dim light, her face softening as she takes in the familiar features. 

”Hey,” she says, her voice a little lower now. ”Give me that camera. I want to take a picture of you.”

Gabrielle hands over the camera, and Xena snaps a picture. She really likes the outcome: Gabrielle lounging in the chair, smiling sweetly at the camera, a glimpse of the Eiffel Tower in the background. Her legs are propped up on the balcony railing, and a sliver of tanned skin is visible between her crop top and denim shorts. Xena swallows and quickly scrolls back to the previous picture, desperate to distract herself. 

She slumps deeper in her chair and starts going through the pictures Gabrielle has taken throughout the trip. Gabrielle has been a prolific photographer. Pictures of buildings, landscapes, people, even hostels they have stayed at. Xena is surprised to find out Gabrielle has taken pictures of her, too, pictures Xena knows nothing about. There are not too many of them, just a few candid shots here and there. There's a picture of Xena sitting on the mountain in Switzerland, peering down at the valley with a smile on her face; a picture of her in an alley in Venice, reading a map; a picture of her on the beach in Southern France, jogging towards the water. All beautifully shot, perfectly capturing the atmosphere of each place.

”Nice pictures,” Xena says, setting the camera down on the table between them. ”I especially like the ones you've secretly taken of me.”

Gabrielle looks at her with a sheepish smile. ”Well, I know you don't like posing for pictures, so I decided to, uh. Take matters into my own hands, I guess.”

”I don't mind the pictures,” Xena says. ”I was just – not expecting that.”

”Really?” 

”Well, yeah.”

Gabrielle is silent for a moment, and when she speaks again, her voice is quiet and soft. ”You're an integral part of this trip, Xena. And not just this trip. You're an integral part of my life.”

Those words make Xena want to melt, and for once, she's not afraid to let Gabrielle see this side of her, the love in her eyes and the smile on her lips.

Gabrielle grabs her camera. ”I'm going inside, okay?” 

”I'll stay out here a little longer,” Xena says, because she really needs this, a few minutes alone to finish her drink and clear her thoughts. Gabrielle hums in response and moves past her, her fingers brushing against Xena's arm as she slips into the hotel room.

Xena gulps down the rest of the wine and looks at the Eiffel Tower for another moment before getting up and following Gabrielle inside. The room is dimly lit, only a small lamp on the nightstand illuminating the space around her. Gabrielle is nowhere to be seen; Xena can hear water running in the bathroom sink. She sits down on the edge of the bed, unsure of what to do with herself. She feels flushed all of a sudden, her skin tingling all over, and maybe it's the wine, or the change in temperature, or the anticipation of sharing a bed with Gabrielle—

She hears the tap being turned off, and a moment later, Gabrielle emerges from the bathroom. She has changed her clothes and is now wearing an oversized T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Her face is washed clean, and her hair is mussed in a way that makes Xena want to run her hands through it.

”It's getting late,” Xena says, ready to get up from the bed. ”We really should—”

”Hey, don't move,” Gabrielle says. She picks up her camera and kneels on her side of the bed. ”I want to take one more picture of you.”

Part of Xena wants to protest, but another part of her feels thrilled by the prospect. She doesn't know why she's suddenly so tempted by the idea. Maybe it's this moment: the two of them alone in this hotel room on their last night in Europe. It's special, something that only belongs to them, something no one else will ever understand.

”Like this?” she asks, halfway turned to the camera, one hand resting on the bed and the other on her thigh.

”Yeah,” Gabrielle says. ”Sit up a little straighter and look over here. Yeah, just like that.”

For a moment, there is nothing but silence and the clicking of Gabrielle's camera. Xena is holding her breath, trying to maintain eye contact with the camera. She feels something bubbling inside her, threatening to burst out at any moment. 

”Perfect,” Gabrielle says, lowering the camera and crawling closer to Xena, sitting down in the middle of the bed. ”I got some really great pictures. You look like a model, seriously.”

”I don't, Gabrielle.”

”You do.” Gabrielle flicks through the pictures and looks up at Xena. ”You're so beautiful,” she says, her voice cracking on the last word. 

Xena puts a hand on Gabrielle's arm. ”Gabrielle, you're—” is all she gets out, and then the words get caught up in her throat, because Gabrielle is leaning toward her, closing the space between them, and Xena's body is reacting on instinct, their lips meeting in the middle—

Xena closes her eyes and tilts her head, her fingers curling into the soft fabric of Gabrielle's shirt. It's a chaste kiss, their lips barely moving against each other, but it's so soft and so intimate that she's almost trembling by the time their lips part, her breath fluttering in her throat. Suddenly worried, Xena pulls away, an array of excuses ready to roll off her tongue. 

”Don't,” Gabrielle says, putting a hand on Xena's thigh. ”I've – I've been waiting for this moment the entire trip.”

”The entire trip?” Xena feels like she should have known this, and maybe there was a part of her that did, but another part of her is reeling from this revelation, her mind scattering in a hundred different directions—

”Yeah,” Gabrielle says, her voice gentle and quiet. ”I thought, this trip, here's a perfect chance. But there was always so much going on, and I just – I was worried it would never happen.”

”Gabrielle,” Xena says, cupping her shoulder with her hand. ”I've been wanting this for so long. Couldn't you tell?”

”Sometimes I thought I could,” Gabrielle admits. ”But there were times when I wasn't so sure. I was afraid I was just imagining things, and I – I just didn't want to mess things up, didn't want to tell you, because, well. Because you're so important to me.”

Xena touches her cheek, brushes some of her hair out of her face. ”I know, Gabrielle.” She feels almost weightless with relief, wanting to laugh at how familiar this all sounds. ”I understand you perfectly.”

”Really?”

”Yeah, really. Those could have been my words.”

Gabrielle actually does laugh, eyes squeezed shut and head tipped forward. ”Oh gosh. What a mess.”

”I know.”

”Do you remember that hostel in Berlin? The girl who thought we were a couple? I was terrified when that happened. All I could think of was, 'Oh my God, is it that obvious?'”

”I was even more worried about your reaction. Like, 'what if Gabrielle realizes I actually do like her?'”

”Oh, yeah. That, too.” Gabrielle sighs and rubs her forehead with her palm. ”This is crazy, Xena. Can you believe how much time we wasted by hiding our feelings?”

”We can catch up for lost time,” Xena says. ”C'mere.”

And Gabrielle does, leaning in to kiss her, threading her hand into Xena's hair. Xena strokes Gabrielle's cheek and smiles into the kiss. She thinks about all the beautiful things they've seen on this trip, places where this could have happened: the mountains in Switzerland, the beaches in Southern France, the Eiffel Tower right outside the hotel – but it's happening right here, in this dimly-lit hotel room, and it's perfect, better than anything she could have ever imagined.

–

”Xena,” Gabrielle says, staring at the plate in front of her. ”Are you really going to eat all that?”

”Sure.” Xena picks up a grape and pops it into her mouth. ”We have a long flight ahead of us.”

”They serve food on the plane. Remember?”

”Doesn't mean I can't take full advantage of the breakfast buffet one last time before leaving.”

Gabrielle shakes her head, but she's smiling as she takes a bite of her croissant. Their legs are touching under the table, bare skin brushing against bare skin. Xena rubs her ankle against Gabrielle's, and Gabrielle responds by knocking her knee against Xena's. Xena hides her smile behind a cup of coffee.

It's a beautiful day outside, the sun streaming in the floor-to-ceiling windows and warming Xena's back. The breakfast room is mostly empty, only a few tables occupied. Soft classical music is playing in the lobby, almost drowned out by the chatter of the people at the reception desk.

”When does our flight leave?” Gabrielle asks.

”Let me check.” Xena picks up her phone and touches the screen, looks back down when she sees Gabrielle reach for her plate. ”Hey, stop stealing my food.”

”There's no way you're going to eat all that by yourself,” Gabrielle says, stuffing a slice of tomato into her mouth. Xena kicks off her sandal and tickles Gabrielle's foot with her toes, and Gabrielle jerks back in her seat, giggling. Xena doesn't even try to hold back the smile on her face. Gabrielle's eyes twinkle at her from across the table, bright and clear.

”Watch me,” Xena says, almost growling the words.

”Okay, maybe I was wrong,” Gabrielle says as they walk out of the breakfast room twenty minutes later. ”I just don't think I have ever seen anyone eat so much for breakfast.”

”Well, now you have.”

Gabrielle stops in front of the elevators and presses the button. ”So, what's next? Shopping for souvenirs?”

”You wanna buy something here?”

”Yeah. I want something small and inexpensive. French chocolate, maybe. Or pralines.”

”Oh, yeah. That's a good idea.” They walk into the elevator, the doors closing behind them. Xena leans against the elevator wall and lets Gabrielle push the buttons. 

”Are you going to buy anything?” Gabrielle asks.

”Nah. I'll just get something at the airport.”

”Xena!”

”Alright, alright. Let's see what we can find.” 

Gabrielle's face eases into a smile. She moves closer and puts her hands on Xena's shoulders, standing on her toes to brush her lips against Xena's. Xena wraps her arms around Gabrielle's waist and closes her eyes, enjoys the thrill that runs through her body.

Gabrielle steps back just before the elevator stops, reaching for Xena's hand. They walk out of the elevator together, hand in hand, exchanging secret smiles as they head towards their room. There is a lightness in Xena's body, a sense of calm delight, her heart so full she feels like she's floating. She's not even sad the trip is almost over. It means a new adventure is about to start, and she couldn't be any happier.


End file.
